Many people ask how Jayden is doing. In many ways he is doing great! He is becoming more and more independent in being able to do things with his feet. People are always amazed at how well he uses his feet. One of his favorite toys is legos. Not the big kind, but the teeny tiny legos. He loves putting together fun little creations like cars or planes with legos.
But there has been an underlying issue that he has been dealing with that is much more disabling to him than not having arms. You see, he does not talk to his teachers or friends at school. He goes to a wonderful preschool three mornings a week and spends those mornings completely mute. Jayden is a different child at school than at home. When he is at home, he is often very talkative, asking questions, playing with his siblings, much like a typical 4 year old. At school he is completely silent, does not smile. When he comes home from school, he talks about what he did at school and it sounds like he had a great time and loves school. Last Fall, his school speech therapist told me that she wondered if Jayden has Selective Mutism. I had never heard of this, so immediately went home and did some research. I found this website that helps explain it a little bit: http://www.selectivemutism.org/.
Here is the explanation that this website gives:
What is Selective Mutism (SM)?
Selective mutism (SM), formerly called elective mutism, is best understood as a childhood anxiety disorder characterized by a child or adolescent's inability to speak in one or more social settings (e.g., at school, in public places, with adults) despite being able to speak comfortably in other settings (e.g., at home with family).
Affected individuals understand language use and, although they have the physical and cognitive ability to speak, they demonstrate a persistent inability to speak in particular settings over a particular period of time due to anxiety. This differs from the developmentally appropriate behavior of a child with limited speaking and social interaction behaviors during the first month of school or daycare when he or she is adjusting to a new social environment with peers and teachers. SM also differs from shyness, which is a socially adaptable personality trait.
To meet diagnostic criteria, the child or adolescent with SM shows significant impairment in daily functioning, typically in educational or occupational settings, and by refraining from social participation at school and other settings due to a pronounced fear of speaking. Most affected children and adolescents function normally in other ways and learn age appropriate skills; however, some may have other comorbid anxiety disorders, developmental delays such as impaired social skills, and communication disorders in addition to SM.
Thus began the quest in trying to find help for him. We finally have found a counselor that is willing to help out and he has been seeing her once a week. Jayden probably does not have a typical case of selective mutism due to his past. So we are learning all about the brain and how it is impacted by neglect. Jayden was neglected for the first 21 months of his life. While a typical infant would be held, rocked, bounced, lovingly fed, played with, sung to, Jayden was in a crib 24 hours a day 7 days a week for 21 months straight. He was given a bottle, propped up on a blanket. His diapers were changed on a schedule. He never was rocked or bounced to sooth him. So his brain did not go through the normal brain development that an infant/baby/toddler should. His brain stem was missing very important pieces that help people deal with stress. This has likely led to his anxiety. And as far as I can understand, anxiety can manifest itself as selective mutism.
So, we are trying to tackle this by going back to those pieces that he missed. Jayden's counselor studied under Dr. Bruce Perry, who uses a neurosequential approach for treatment. He recommends rhythmic repetitive activities. So we have been trying to find rhythmic repetitive activities for Jayden. A couple weeks ago he started going to a Music and Movement class that is specifically designed for special needs kids. And now we are looking into getting him started in hippotherapy (physical therapy on a horse).
It will likely be a long and difficult road with lots of twists and turns, but Jayden is worth it!! With God's help, he will overcome this! We look forward to the day that his teachers and friends see this happy smiley face that we know and love:
